Got no reason to be jolly - got no reason to be gay,
Got no reason to trip over but we stumble anyway.
Like a merry old court jester, like a silly circus clown,
We roll around with laughter as old England's pants fall down.
(repeat last line)

Everybody'd got opinions, everybody flies a kite.
But one thing is for certain everybody can't be right.
It's the price we pay for freedom, for our long-lost great renown,
Now all the world is laughing as old England's pants fall down.

Oh once we ruled an empire, yes once we ruled the waves,
Now we can't even rule ourselves, never mind not being slaves.
The Queen is in her counting house, selling off her crown,
We're laughing to the food banks as old England's pants fall down.

Coz the fools have taken over - lunatics have grabbed the reins,
You couldn't even make it up unless you were insane.
Our little ship is sinking in our tears as we all drown,
But we still laugh our socks off as old England's pants fall down.

Now one day in the future you may read your history book,
And wonder in amazement at how our bellies shook.
As we sabotaged the country and went spinning round and round,
But it really isn't funny as old England's pants fall down.